Reading Adesola’s post has made me think about beginnings and thought process behind this.  A beginning, as a point in time or space at which something begins, sounds fresh and exciting. It feels like a moment of destiny, and moment of fresh change. Everyone remembers their first day at school, their first ever job, but a beginning can fill you with fear. 

Working in the industry has many fresh beginnings and beginnings that also feel like a continue moving state. I did not start performing until I was 21, having my first dance class at the same age but worked hard with the skills set I had. 

 I remember my first professional panto as a main role. I was excited to start rehearsals, looked forward to meeting and excited to actually work. I remember the phone call from the director, I was ecstatic to be a part of the show, every moment I was full of excitement. When I put down the phone, a new feeling started, in the pit of my stomach. I was nervous, anxious in fact I was terrified. What if I was not good enough? How would I learn all the words? Would the cast like me?

I had a week before rehearsals, I was anxious, I decided had to be prepared. I learnt my words, I attended dance lessons, I did anything and everything to be prepared. 

As I awoke, from an over early alarm, I got ready and was left for the first day of rehearsals. As  I stood in front if the door to the rehearsal studio over an hour early was nervous, I felt sick. My mind played psychological games against itself, I played different situations in my head. I was shaking, scared, But I was prepared. 

Breathing went from erratic, to a little slower, my legs stopped shaking, my heart beat seemed less intense compared to earlier. As I stared was at my dream, body frozen, I was too scared to participate.

But something changed as I walked through the door. The cast were welcoming. There were no ferocious monsters, just people, people who were in the same situation, and people who were experciened and were willing to help. 

As we blocked our way through the scenes, every direction seemed exciting and second nature to me. The songs became enjoyable as worked on our lead vocals and harmonies. These rehearsals were fun but more importantly essential to form the end product, a show. Everyday I watched my  excienced peers and pushed myself to keep up with them.

 With only two weeks of rehearsal, every day was intense, every rehearsal we were directed and corrected by the production team, until everything was perfect.  Although I had to work hard, I found rehearsals enjoyable but more than this I started to understand the process of how to a show run. I became confident and strong in my role. Working in my free time on dance routines. In addition, learning how to work in a harness and to fly. 

As we entered the run of the show, we were all profound in our roles. We were like a well oiled machine, driving forward together. Every note and direction had been executed by all of us. This pushed us to a new level of performance as a company. 

To conclude, I need to reflect on why I am not comfortable with change. But in hindsight, I am able to see, a lot of new beginnings had finished in new enjoyable experiences. The dreaded new beginning feel is always over looked due to the new practise I have learnt along. Each new start has a positive impact on my life and is complimented with the enjoyment of the task. New begins and change is the only thing constant in life, but a new begin makes a new start which allows us to develop into a better person. Writing this piece of work has allowed me to reflect on my work and my study